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Welcome to the Zoo!!!!

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Beautiful



Before I was a Mom I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom - I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.

I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom - I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.

I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.
Before I was a Mom - I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, The joy, The love, The heartache, The wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.

And before I was a Grandma, I didn't know that all those "Mom" feelings more than doubled when you see that l ittle bundle being held by "your baby"...

Send this to someone who you think is a special Mom or Grandma. I just did.
And remember that behind every successful mother... Is a basket of dirty laundry.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Thought you might enjoy this!

Being a Mom

We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family."
"We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"
"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.
"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations."

But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.

I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her! That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moment's hesitation. I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has
invested in her career, she would be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she
will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.

I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.

However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother. Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.

I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honour. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to Powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think She should know that she would fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving. I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble they're way into this most wonderful of callings.


I got this in an e-mail today, and I absolutely loved it. I wanted everyone to hear it too. This next one is just wrong on so many levels!


PREGNANT TURKEYOne year at Thanksgiving my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store. When my sister left mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, and inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. she then placed the bird(s) back in the oven. When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of
the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird. With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, "Susan, you've cooked a pregnant bird!" At the reality of this horrifying news,
my sister started to cry. It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!

Time is not on my side.

Very sorry for not updating lately. I've been terribly busy with work and it's unfortunate. Anyways, I spent Friday night in the ER with Gavin, he had blood in his poo. Gross how mommys analyze baby poo for sickness. I called the Doctor's office and they said to take him in and have it evaluated. Turns out it's just some viral thing that's irritating his little tummy. Still scared the hell out of me.

I'm going back to school finally. I got some financial aid papers in the mail the other day that said I could get a scholarship. So, I went out to the school, filled everything out, registered for classes, and then only to find out that the school won't even give me the scholarship because the last time I was there, I didn't do so well. I'm going either way though. Whether I have to pay for it or not. I really need to quit procrastinating on it and just do it. Husband doesn't think I can hack it. He basically just doesn't want me going back to school. I think he's jealous that I can and he really can't. Well, he could do alot of things, if he just had the ambition to do anything. Oh well.

Not much else to update unfortunately. I'm trying to find a sitter for a couple hours today so that Husband can get the yard done before we're under a foot of snow in the great white north. Talk to everyone later.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving and eat alot of food. I personally will be consuming massive amounts of food.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Ya don't have to tell the whole damn neighborhood!!!


Might be true though!!

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

OMG!!!

Look at this picture... HE LOOKS LIKE HE HAS SIDEBURNS!!!! he's getting WAY to big WAY to quick!!!



AND another funny shirt courtesy of Mom... (actually I didn't buy it but I did put it on him and take pictures!!)

"Do you think I was born yesterday?"

Disoriented

Have you ever had a dream and you wake up so disoriented because of it that your whole day is screwed? Well, that's where I am right now. I had the WORST dream last night... dreamt that Gavin had died. I was obviously so traumatized over the loss that I didn't even acknowledge it, and just kept living like he was still there... rocking an invisible baby and such. Then someone made me realize that he was gone and I lost it in the dream. I woke up crying and freaking out, and guess what? Gavin spent the night at my parents last night so I couldn't even roll over and pull his little snuggly body into bed with me to make sure he was still there. I've been awake since 4am and was STILL late for work. Imagine that. Anyways, I'm a little out of sorts right now at work and I'm a little teary eyed now just thinking about the dream. I hate those. I've been dreaming alot lately and I don't like it. I never used to be a person who remembered dreams, and now I wake up from a bad dream at least twice a week. Sleeping pills needed obviously. This is a dream that I'll remember forever, kinda like another dream that I had when I was little.

*lays down on couch* It all started when I was like 4 or 5, I would have this re-occuring dream that there was a thunderstorm outside and every time we looked out any window that didn't have a window covering, the lightning would flash and there would be a silouette of a giant ape... No, I've never even seen King Kong. Anyways, in the dream, my sister and I had run upstairs to get away from the monkey thingy, figuring that it couldn't levitate. On the house I used to live in there was a flat roof with a door that went out on it. It was the only window in the entire house that didn't have any sort of window covering. After looking at it, the lightning kept flashing and I could see every detail of it's face. Creepy. I was scared of thunderstorms until I was like 20. All because I was being chased by a monkey. Not entirely scary now, but still give me the chills. It's kinda gross.

On to a happier note... I have pictures of my baby in his halloween costume.....

Here ya be!!

I'm a Chickenhawk!!!!

Monday, November 07, 2005

I forgot these!


Grace watching to make sure we're playing nicely.

Gavin sitting with Daddy.

MMMMM... he tastes good.

Gavin and Daddy sleeeeping.

Too Much!!!

It's been a crazy few days. Alot of things whirring around in my head in November. It's just this month that does it. It's getting close to Christmas, it was my birthday, my sister Sam's birthday, my mom's birthday, and the anniversary of my mom's death, all in a 4 day span. Gavin is going to be 3 months old tomorrow and that's crazy. I just wish everything would slow down and chill out for a while. My head is spinning.

I cannot belive that Gavin is already 3 months old. HAPPY 3 MONTH BIRTHDAY GAVIN! He's gotten sooo big already. It's crazy. He's learning how to use his hands and feet and is absolutely entertained with the television or the dog. I've found that no matter how bad of a day I've had, all I have to do is look at him and get one of those toothless grins and I'm all better. It's better than anti-depressants I swear. Doesn't mean I'm going to stop taking those any time soon though.

My birthday was a complete and total failure. We were going to have a bonfire but it poured rain and thunderstormed (in November!!!) so we couldn't. We partied in the house instead but no one that we invited showed up. It's kind of sad really, I'm not throwing any more parties EVER!! My party throwing ability has gone right out the window since I got married. But enough of my babbling. As promised, I have pictures of my little man for everyone!!! ENJOY!!!
I'm watching Mommy!!!

Chicks Dig Me

Grace getting into birthday festivities

Quite the little man!

Thursday, November 03, 2005

PICTURES



but not of Gavin. I'm still working on those. These are only a test.....


BEEEP!!!

Happy Birthday TO ME!!!

Well, my birthday is Saturday but husband got my present a little early.
I got this!!!

I'm spoiled!!! And I'm trying to figure out how to put stuff on here from the camera and as soon as I do, you will all have pics.

Smooches!!!

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Long time no post.

I hate this crap. I just had a whole post written out and the stoopid thing timed out. Anywho, I guess I'll give the abbreviated version...

We're having a bonfire on Saturday for my birthday. That should be fun. See if the hubby even remembers its my birthday.

Halloween was fun. Gavin was a Chickenhawk (Rooster). Remember that cartoon?

Been crazy busy with everything, didn't even carve the pumpkins we had. $15 in squirrel food I guess....

Snakes still alive, no one wants them.

Dog might die. But she's cute so everyone wants her.

Work sucks.

Car is retarded. It keeps messing up. If I have to put anymore $$ into it, I'm shoving it off a cliff.

That's it in a nutshell. I'll post again when I have the pictures I want to post. Or something more interesting to talk about.